Show Me The Little Bit Of Spine You’ve Been Saving For Her Mattress
I straddle the line between best friend and lover; I feel like your dirty little secret. Though nothing happens, the possibility is strong, almost unrelenting. Interactions flow from platonic to charged and back in the space of minutes; I am more comfortable with you than with anyone else and yet I spend every moment together on tenterhooks, waiting for that one thing that will force us to act.
When she is texting you I remain your friend, but once the phone is put down, you said good night, and it’s like she doesn’t exist. Boundaries, personal space, it all just disappears. Melts like so much mist before the sun, as you enfold me in your entire body. Draped over and around me, I feel the best I ever felt. And the worst. I am your kept mistress, without the benefits of acknowledgment or sex.
I have all of you but you do not belong to me. I have nothing of you but you are mine. The paradox revolts me.
Get your loyalties in line, figure out your priorities. Me or her? You can’t have us both. One day I will push you or walk away. This balancing act won’t last forever.
And for the love of all good things, if you’re going to act like I’m your dirty little secret….can we at least get to the dirty part?!
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